We all have an inner voice don’t we? One that quietly guides us to courage, to confidence to keep on going when everything seems hard.
That’s a strong and positive inner voice.
Some inner voices are critical and despondent saying ‘you ‘ll never make it, you’re too fat to be attractive, you aren’t clever enough to get that job.’
Yuck – who wants and inner voice like that.
Certainly not me.
If you had a choice which of the above types of inner voice would you want for your children?The first I am sure and me too. We want them to be telling themselves that they are absolutely good enough, smart enough, strong enough.
We want them to be guided and motivated by a wealth of positivity.
We do have a choice or certainly a huge impact about the kind of inner voice that guides our children because….
So if you are constantly critical of your child and negative, their inner voice will become those things and they will feel stressed and anxious as well as probably ‘not good enough.’
In the hurly burly of life we can often talk without thinking and can easily get into the habit of being on our child’s case in most of our interactions.
But we can change that.
By being mindful that we impact our children with the way we talk we can create better habits of talking. Positivity, as always, wins the day. Valuing your child right now for who they are, letting your child know how likeable they are, appreciating their talents and quirks goes a long way.
This doesn’t mean we give up teaching them and helping them develop but rather we consider how we correct and motivate them.
Here is an example
Scenario: Your child has a piano exam coming up and has not been practising.
You could say…
You are so rubbish at practising each day you are never going to pass that piano exam with this attitude. I am giving you a timetable and you have to stick to it or you are sunk.
or you could say
It’s so exciting that your piano exam is coming up and you will be able show everyone how you can play. Shall I help you plan a schedule so you can find a regular time to practice for it so you really can be at your best?
It’s pretty obvious which will get the better response
Let’s all get into better habits of speaking mindfully and positively.
How you talk can make all the difference to your child’s inner voice.