What we give focus to, grows.
If you have ever been unable to sleep and then started thinking about how you can’t sleep you will know this is true.
In a very simple sense we do know for most of us whatever we feed our brain tends to happen. If we think we want to eat a biscuit our brain sends a message to our arm to pick up the biscuit and put it in our mouth where we will chew it. We take this for granted. It is really helpful.
On a less helpful note if we think about something that frightens us we can end up shivering and quivering as if that thought was a reality.
It makes sense then that what we think about we do tend to create. This can be a problem if we think about things that make us sad or anxious for the majority of our time. But rather than dwell on that we can learn to flip it and help our children do the same..
By flip it I mean turn that thought around to our advantage.
If your child is thinking they are a victim/weak /fearful, anxious or stupid we can plant other ideas in their head instead and encourage them to focus on how strong, capable and smart they are. Of course we need to listen to and give space to their concerns and worries BUT they need to be absolutely full up with positive thoughts about themselves too.
Verbal feedback helps a great deal, encouraging activities they are good at and friendships that are equal and healthy will also help here. Having a daily journal where your child writes down each day what they achieved or the the things that went well will give focus to these strengths. Why not have them ring a relative and tell them a good thing about their day.
Filling your child’s focus with good, positive thoughts will help then become strong and brave and confident.
We do become what we think about most of the time – we have the power to make that something wonderful.