5 Best Ways to Mourn Parents

How to cope when a parent dies – something that at some point we will all need to consider.

It takes a long time to mourn parents and adjust to the reality of their death. They’ve always been there, and it’s a shock that few people are prepared for.

Some cultures have strict rituals and ways of mourning, but there is no real right or wrong way to mourn.

Traditional timetables and dress codes may help comfort others and make them feel more secure and in control by following these traditions. While these practices show respect for the loss of parents, they’re really more for the benefit of the living.


How to cope when a parent dies

Read on to discover what we need to consider.


Everyone Grieves Differently

Many people grieve differently, because it’s a very personal and sometimes private thing. Someone could be grieving deeply on the inside, yet not be mourning on the outside. They may want to or have been taught to keep up a stoic or “stiff upper lip” appearance. Also, everyone’s relationship with his or her mother or father is different. Even if a son was not close to his father, he may struggle with guilt about that after his father’s death.

The trouble begins when one type of mourner judges another, because that can make the grieving child or adult feel worse. Perhaps a daughter finds comfort while mourning mom and dad with rocking and crying, while a brother might find that too much of an outward display of emotion.


Reach Out and Talk to People Who Care While Grieving

Stay away from people who insist on a right way to mourn or who seem judgmental or uncaring. Sometimes, people don’t know what to say and are uncomfortable talking to people in mourning so it’s not that they don’t care.

Talk to relatives or friends who will listen without judgment and who don’t mind talking about mom or dad. If there’s an older relative to talk to, they might enjoy telling stories never heard before. It’s important to find someone to talk to because expressing emotions is part of the healing process.


Painting, Writing and Singing is Therapeutic When Mourning Death of Parents

People find writing, singing or playing musical instruments healing while grieving mom or dad. Poetry and songs help release some of the emotions and bond with others who feel the same way.

Simply listening to music can also be therapeutic, especially if it brings back good memories. This is also a safe way to redirect sadness and anger so that other undeserving people don’t get the brunt of it.


Be Patient While Grieving Parents and Consider a Grief Support Group or Counsellor

Everyone must grieve their parents’ death in order to be able to heal but this takes time. There are stages of grief and people get through them eventually, although they don’t have to be adhered to in an orderly fashion.

If an individual feels “stuck” in a stage of grief like anger, they can seek a grief support group or grief counsellor, but most people manage to come out of it on their own.



Further reading

Kids and the loss of a pet

Winston’s wish

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