How to encourage kids to look for the silver lining and why.
It is really important when kids are feeling overwhelmed and unhappy, down in the dumps fed up, annoyed, frustrated and fed up that we HEAR them first and foremost. All feeling s are valid and better out than in and if verbally expressed and heard they are less likely to be demonstrated through negative actions. In the therapy world we say name it to tame it when it comes to feelings, and we would always encourage kids to talk about how they feel however negatively framed it may be.
So yes, expressing feelings is good and yet it is important that kids do not catastrophize and perpetuate the belief everything is terrible They need to find balance and to see the silver lining.
How to encourage kids to look for the silver lining
When you encourage kids to look for the silver lining it helps them get more perspective and to see situations aren’t all bad. It also helps them feel more positive as they look at the good stuff or what they can do rather than what they can’t.
‘But’ is a really helpful word.
Try and encourage your kids to use this to see a glimpse of potential good in the scenario they are upset about. For example, if they didn’t get invited to a party they might say ‘ I didn’t get invited the party and I’m really upset. You listen to them, support and console then gently ask can you see the but in this situation?
They then might say …
‘I didn’t get invited to the party and I’m really upset BUT Joe didn’t either and so I’m going to invite him to play football with me and grab some cake at the cafe’
Having a wider view and a more balanced view helps kids feel calmer and less overwhelmed and sets their mind on happier things.
@beckygoddardhill Help kids with positive thinking by using this powerful word #childpsychology #parentsoftiktok #parentinghacks #parentingtips #silverlining #negativethinking #positivekids #authorsoftiktok ♬ original sound – Becky Goddard-Hill
365 days of calm
Using ‘but’ is a great strategy to stop kids feeling just everything is awful and my book 365 days of calm has many more . In fact it is packed with quotes activities and affirmations fr kids to feel calmer and more in control. You can order it here