How to Help a Child with Low Self-Esteem – 8 Easy Ways

Are you looking to help a child with low self-esteem?


How to help a child with low self-esteem


Why do some children have low self-esteem?

There are many different reasons why children have a low view of themselves or why they feel that they are not a good person. And sometimes as a parent we are helpless to stop our children from feeling that way, but just because you can’t stop your child from feeling bad about themselves doesn’t mean there isn’t anything you can do about it.

In fact the worst thing that any parent can do in that type of a situation is to sit back and do nothing. The good news is that regardless o how our children feel or if they are even listening to what you have to say there are some things that you can do to help your children like themselves better. And best of all it usually just involves talking to your child and not giving up on them.

And do let then know you will not ever give up on them – every child needs to hear that loud and clear.



“If we want to fully experience love and belonging, we must believe we are worthy of love and belonging.” —Brene Brown



How to help a child with low self-esteem

Child with Low Self-Esteem

How to help a child with low self-esteem – 8 Steps

Step one:

The first thing that you are going to need to do is to find out why your child feels the way that they do about themselves. Create time and physical space and opportunity for them to talk to you privately. A car ride, baking alongside each other, a walk in the woods can all be great ways to get this time and space.  Sometimes it is as simple but overwhelmingly sad such as a bereavement or you getting a divorce or them feeling that they are different, but other times it is a bit more complicated and will require sensitive questioning


Step two – Help a Child with Low Self-Esteem

Once you have found out what is wrong you are going to need to let your child now that they are not alone. In fact the chances are pretty good that other kids feel the same way about the same thing. If you know of any friends or family members who are going through the same thing as your children take this opportunity to point this out to them and let them know they are not alone.


Child with Low Self-Esteem


Step three:

Make sure that you tell your children that it is not their fault if there has been a death or a divorce in the family. Many times children think it was something that they did that caused the problems. So you need to reassure them it was nothing they did and there was nothing they could have done to prevent it.


Step four on how to help a child with low self-esteem:

The next thing that you are going to need to do is to build up your children’s self esteem. There are many things that you can do to help build their self esteem. The main reason that you are building their self esteem is so that they feel better about themselves and begin to feel that they can do anything, within reason that is. See my I am affirmations for confidence these can be so helpful for children to practice and too help them evolve a growth mindset.


Step five:

One thing that you can do to help them build self esteem and feel better about themselves is to tell them everyday that you love them just they way they are and that you really care about them. In fact you can tell them how you think they are special and why they mean so much to you. Just give them plenty of reassurance that you need them and love them. This in itself can work absolute wonders in those looking to help a child with low self-esteem.


‘Step six – Help a Child with Low Self-Esteem

In order to build their self esteem you are going to need to give them realistic goals to achieve. Basically you are going to want to start off with small goals and then getting bigger from there. What you are going to want to do is to help them create goals that fit and work in their lives.

Step seven:

Once they have reached those goals you are going to want to praise them for what they have accomplished. By praising them you are teaching them to think positive about themselves and you are also teaching them to praise themselves. But be careful that you don’t teach them about bragging because bragging puts down other people.


Step eight on how to help a child with low self=-esteem:

If you know your child has had a bad day try to spend some time alone with them. Talk to them about what happened and why they feel that way. What you want to do is to teach them about dealing with the bad days and ways to make themselves feel better, such as having their nails painted or doing something else for themselves.

Take a look at the NHS website for further tips.


“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.” —Marilyn Monroe

Books to help a child with low self-esteem

Gifting a book is a great way to to help a child with low self-esteem and 2 of my more recent books are totally geared to this.

Create your own Confidence is jam packed with ideas to help a child feel more confident about who they are and ideas range from speaking up in public to making new friends. It is a lovely bright and illustrated  activity book for 6-12 year olds  that is fun and entertaining as well as being  a great resource to help a child with low self-esteem.



For older children in their teen years my book Be Confident Be You provides the tools to help them  build confidence, overcome low self-esteem, and embrace opportunities in all areas of  life. It is a straightforward, light but power packed read that gives them ideas they can easily implement.




Further reading on how to help a child with low self-esteem

You might also like to read my blog post on how you impact your child’s inner voice

Have  look here for  the top 10 confidence books for teens

and how to support a shy child

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