Are Our Children Losing the Ability to Be Bored?
I recently watched a TEDx talk by Jane Johnson called The Dopamine Trap: How Social Media Is Hijacking Teen Happiness, and it really made me stop and think.
Jane is a former teacher and now works with parents and schools, focusing on teenagers, emotional regulation and connection. Her talk looks at the effect of constant digital stimulation on young people and, in particular, the idea of digital anhedonia – when ordinary things no longer seem to bring the same pleasure.
What struck me most wasn’t simply the amount of time young people spend on their phones. It was the question of what all that stimulation might be replacing.
Think about childhood before smartphones. There were long stretches of time when nothing much happened. You might have been sent outside with no particular plan. You got bored. You poked around in the garden, climbed a tree, collected conkers, made dens, drew pictures or simply wandered about.
And somehow, from that boredom, things happened.
You invented games. You noticed things. You talked. You argued. You solved problems. You used your imagination.
Today, the moment we feel bored, we can reach for a phone. There is always another video, another message, another notification or something new to look at.
And perhaps that is the bit we need to think about.
Are we giving children enough opportunity to experience the quiet?
Jane’s talk made me think about dopamine and the way our brains respond to rewarding experiences. Social media is particularly good at providing little bursts of novelty and reward, keeping us coming back for another scroll. The concern is that when the brain becomes accustomed to constant stimulation, slower and more ordinary activities can feel much less exciting.
That doesn’t mean every child who uses social media will develop a problem, and I don’t think the answer is simply to declare phones the enemy.
Technology is part of our children’s world.
But perhaps we need to make sure it isn’t their whole world.
Digital anhedonia
There is something wonderfully old-fashioned about giving a child a collection of leaves, a cardboard box, some paint or a handful of conkers and saying, “I wonder what you could make with these?”
There is no algorithm deciding what happens next.
No notification.
No instant reward.
Just curiosity.
And perhaps that’s something worth protecting.
As adults, we might need to practise it too. Put the phone down. Go for a walk without listening to anything. Sit in the garden. Make something. Notice the seasons. Let your mind wander.
Boredom isn’t necessarily something that needs fixing.
Sometimes, it is where creativity begins.
And after watching Jane Johnson’s talk, I found myself wondering whether one of the kindest things we can give children isn’t more stimulation, but permission to have a little less.
To be bored.
To be curious.
To make their own fun.
And to discover that the real world, when we slow down enough to notice it, is actually pretty wonderful. You can find jane coaching and offering courses at The Lighthouse Parent.
Also see screen free activities for teens