Knowing how to help children to have healthy friendships is one of the best life skills you can ever teach.
I believe that if you learn young about healthy relationships; how to forge them, nurture them and get them through tricky times you will have a better chance when you are older of making good choices about life partners, colleagues and friends.
How to help children have healthy friendships
Relationships affect our well-being in the most profound way and this is the same if you are 6 or of you are 60.
We all need good friends.
We help children learn to brush their teeth, dress, say please and thank you and a whole myriad of life skills. But we don’t teach them much about friendships do we..not really?
I realised as a mum that the most important bit of school for my kids was playtime. The one thing that could make them sadder and more perplexed than anything else was friendships. I also realised good friendships helped them grow and made their hearts sing with joy. They have a huge impact.
As parents and educators we don’t always address what matters most including the often tricky subject of friendships. It is an important topic to consider, talk about, and really think about and we need to be engaging with our kids about their feelings and skills in this area.
25 best ways to help kids have healthy friendships
Helping kids develop healthy friendships is crucial for their social and emotional growth. Here are 25 ways to support them in building positive relationships:
- Teach Empathy: Encourage them to understand and share others’ feelings.
- Model Healthy Behavior: Demonstrate respectful communication and kindness in your interactions.
- Active Listening: Teach them to listen attentively and show interest in their friends’ thoughts and feelings.
- Conflict Resolution: Equip them with problem-solving skills to handle disagreements and conflicts.
- Encourage Inclusion: Promote inclusivity and discourage cliques or exclusionary behavior.
- Teach Respect for Differences: Emphasize the importance of accepting people’s diverse backgrounds and perspectives.
- Communication Skills: Help them express themselves clearly and assertively without being aggressive.
- Boundaries: Teach them to set and respect personal boundaries as well as those of their friends.
- Encourage Shared Interests: Support them in finding and pursuing common hobbies or activities with peers.
- Role-Playing: Engage in role-playing scenarios to help them practice social interactions.
- Positive Self-Esteem: Foster a positive self-image to reduce the likelihood of seeking approval through negative means.
- Teach Trustworthiness: Discuss the importance of honesty and keeping promises in friendships.
- Digital Etiquette: Educate them on responsible online behavior, including cyberbullying prevention.
- Problem-Solving Together: Offer guidance on how to work through challenges with their friends.
- Friendship Circles: Encourage them to have multiple friends and not rely solely on one person.
- Respect Personal Time: Help them understand that friends need space and time for themselves too.
- Model Healthy Boundaries: Demonstrate appropriate adult friendships as an example.
- Acceptance of Change: Discuss how friendships evolve and change over time.
- Praise Kindness: Acknowledge and praise acts of kindness towards friends.
- Help Develop Social Skills: Practice making eye contact, initiating conversations, and using appropriate body language.
- Identify Toxic Relationships: Teach them to recognize and distance themselves from toxic friendships.
- Support Emotional Intelligence: Help them understand and manage their own emotions as well as others’.
- Teach Loyalty: Emphasize the importance of standing by friends in times of need.
- Encourage Group Activities: Foster teamwork and collaboration through group games and projects.
- Monitor Online Activity: Keep an eye on their social media use and address any negative online behavior promptly.
Remember that every child is unique, and their needs may vary. The key is to provide guidance, maintain open communication, and create a safe environment for them to learn and grow in their friendships.
Healthy Friendship cards and activities
I am delighted to tell you have just made some conversation cards to encourage those important discussions with our children about friendship. These cards are intended to be used in classrooms, in therapy sessions, or even round the dinner table. Each pack contains 48 question cards to prompt discussions.
They also contain a selection of instruction cards to guide their use and show how they can be adapted to different ages of children and levels of understanding.
How to help children have healthy friendships – ask the right questions
The questions are split into 4 colour coded sections.
- Thinking about friendships you have right now
- How to make friends
- How to be a good friend
- How to manage friendships difficulties
Oh couldn’t we all do with being better in there areas!
Sometimes to get children telling us what is going on for them we just need to get the conversations started. The questions on these cards should prompt some important conversations that could make all the difference to your children’s life, now and their future choices.
Let’s get talking…
My Friendship cards are available here.
Further reading on healthy friendships
You might also like my post on how to help a child to make new friends.
Why childhood friendship is so important
How to help a child make new friends