Making the decision to end your marriage is never easy. In 2022 alone, nearly 674,000 divorces and annulments occurred in the United States. With the marriage rate at 6.2 per 1,000 people, it’s clear that divorce touches many American families. If you find yourself considering divorce, know that you’re not alone. Here are some important steps to take when navigating this difficult transition.
Understand Your Motivation for Divorce
Before making any big decisions, take time to carefully reflect on your reasons for wanting a divorce. According to research, 75% of divorces happen due to a lack of commitment from one or both partners. Infidelity, growing apart, constant conflict, abuse, or addiction issues can also undermine marriages. Make a list of your grievances and reasons to gain clarity. However, it is also essential to consider whether counseling could help resolve any solvable problems.
Discuss Matters with Your Spouse
Once you’ve reflected thoroughly, have an open and honest discussion with your spouse about your desire for divorce. This gives them a chance to share their perspective and feelings. Remember that divorce will impact your spouse deeply, so approach the conversation with sensitivity. Consider involving a neutral third party like a therapist to mediate and help you communicate constructively.
Consult a Divorce Attorney
As you continue weighing divorce, you must consult a divorce attorney to understand your rights and options. An attorney can explain important considerations like asset division, spousal support, child custody arrangements, and the divorce process in your state. They can also give you realistic expectations about potential outcomes. Many offer free initial consultations.
Get Organized Financially
Untangling finances can be one of the most complicated parts of divorce. Start gathering financial statements and documentation. Make copies of tax returns, bank accounts, investment and retirement accounts, and records of assets like real estate. Also, catalog expenses like household bills and debt payments. This helps attorneys determine asset division and spousal/child support amounts.
Consider Your Housing Situation
Housing is another big consideration. Currently, over 53% of divorcing couples own homes together. You may need to sell the house or determine who keeps it. If you have children, maintaining stability in their living situation is ideal. But separating households also involves costs like rent, utilities, and furnishings. Create a budget to see what you can afford.
Focus on the Children
If you have kids, their well-being must be a top priority. Research shows a third of American kids will see their parents divorce before age 15. While upsetting, divorce does not have to scar children when handled mindfully. Be reassuring and avoid blame. Encourage them to share feelings. Strive to co-parent agreeably with your spouse and stick to custody agreements. Today, 34% of divorced parents share physical custody, so seek significant time with the kids.
Seek Emotional Support
Divorce can be incredibly painful, even when it’s the right choice. Seek support from close family and friends as you navigate this transition. Consider joining a divorce support group as well. Lean on your community, stay busy with activities you enjoy, and be kind to yourself. If emotions become overwhelming, counseling can also help you process everything in a healthy way.
Divorce involves many practical and emotional challenges. But with time, care, and support, most people make it through divorce and build happy new lives. If you take proactive steps and keep your well-being a priority, you’ll be on the path to a hopeful future.
